Useful Pyrate Vocabulary and Phrases

A•hoy (interjection)
Synonym for "Yo!" Commonly followed by "matey."

Arg! (interjection)
What pyrates say while pillaging and plundering to show they are serious and this is not just a weekend thing.

boo'•oty (noun)
Treasure, coins, paintings of homeless children with really big eyes. Pyrates would amass a chest full and then rattle it around; hence the term, "shake one's booty."

Gar! (interjection)
Variation of "Arg!"

Jol'•ly Rog'•er (proper noun)
Generic name for the famous skull and crossbones flag. When feeling whimsical, pyrates would sometimes call it "the old flaggy waggy." (Kat's note: No member of the Pyrates Royale has ever used that term, for fear of sounding "swishy.")

kra'•ken (noun)
A large, tentacled sea monster of pyrate lore. Most historians believe the Kraken legend developed from sightings of giant squid. That most scientists believe this hogwash is a testament to the Kraken's savvy disinformation campaign.

land'•lub•ber (noun)
Lover of land, or land-lover. Holding a knife between one's teeth for too long can create this speech impediment. Pyrates also call a hovercraft a "hubbercraft." To them cover girls are "cubber girls."

loot'•ing (noun)
Kind of like window shopping, but all the windows are conveniently smashed to bits when you arrive.

mate'•y (noun)
Assistant to the captain. As in, "Yes, this is Captain Moone's matey. May I tell the Captain what this is regarding?" (Kat's note: Not to be confused with spouse)

miz'•zen•mast (noun)
The mast in the middle of a ship. Since it is actually sails which are hoisted, saying "Hoist the mizzenmast" can be looked at as either a surprisingly poetic usage or as just plain wrong.

par•rot (noun)
Intelligent, willful bird native to tropical regions and a favored companion of pyrates. The bird's apparent power of speech is actually only mimicry. The bird has no idea what words mean, and it does not appreciate that words can sometimes hurt. (Kat's note: We do, and we use this to our best advantage)

Pie'•ces of Eight (proper noun)
More than pieces of seven, less than pieces of nine.

pil'•lag•ing (verb)
Kind of like looting, but the shopkeeper is watching from behind some hastily contrived shelter.

Shiv'•er me tim'•bers! (interjection)
Some pyrate heard this on TV and thought it sounded cool. (Kat's note: That would be Capt. Moone)

sea' dog (noun)
An epithet originally derisive in usage, but lately appropriated as a badge of honor by advocates of pyrate pride.

swab'•bie (noun)
An affectionate term for the hapless crewmember charged with mopping, or "swabbing," the decks. This term of endearment is the only bright spot in the otherwise dreary and demeaning life.

walk'•ing the plank (phrase)
Kind of like being on the diving team, but without the endorsement opportunities.

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Once again, another uncredited piece of good writing that has been forwarded through email so many times, no one knows its origin. Oh, the humanity!